Are friends who ask for more in return than they give worth it? Are they worth the drama, arguing, and emotions when it's all about nothing? Ugh. It's hard to just say this is over to a 6 year friendship, but it's also hard to go through the same thing over and over, month after month, year after year...when you have 50 more important things to stress about in life. Some people just don't understand what friendship is about.


I decided I should actually use this journal, maybe make a real flist, since it is therapeutic even if no one is reading (and I should know that considering I am a Psych major and all).
I will get on that when this wave of stress passes....

1. Audioslaved.com has officially shut down. Ok, this might not be a big deal to anyone and I wouldn't have really cared if I only joined it around the time Revelations came out, because around then, it started to suck. It started to suck more when AS disbanded (well obviously), but also because people started picking teams and it got all childish.
But when I first joined, I was such a newbie to all the music I listen to today. AS was my first real favorite band. A band that meant something to me and introduced me to all of CCs music and dozens of other bands I call my favorites now. People were actually very nice, knowledgable, and helpful before it started going downhill. 
And unlike many on that board who liked Audioslave because of CC or because of RATM...I liked Audioslave for Audioslave. I never knew about Cornell or RATM before AS.
I won't lie though, I might truly believe SG is better deep down inside now, but AS is still my favorite because it's my baby. I don't know, it's hard for me to express exactly what AS means to me because it wasn't just about how great the music was...I was a totally different person 4ish years ago. AS was part of that change, don't ask how or why. 
Even though I knew eventually it would end and that they are all  better off now, I feel like they had one more great album in them.

Man, I miss AS.


2. NY GIANTS win the Super Bowl!!! 
So the Giants prevented Favre and the Packers, which have been my favorite team since I was 9, to go to the Super Bowl. It would have been great to see Favre go on a high note...even though now I don't think he's going to retire just yet.
But, I hate the Pats with a passion. Belichick has some of the worst sportsmanship and is a dirty cheater. Anyone who could have put an end to the dirty Pats would make me happy, so of course, I was cheering for the Giants. And what a game it was. The Pats undefeated season means nothing, HaHa. And again, Belichick acts like a sore loser...walks off of the field before the game officially finishes. Who does that in professional sports? Only dirties.
Also, they played Cochise in a Super Bowl commercial and at the end of the game. So, my first two points tie together, neat ey ;)

3. My online Spanish class isn't as hard as a first thought it would be. I'm still stressing about my online convos because I don't have a partner. But our professor is so cool, she extended everything at least a week. So I have two more days to do the convo. I did my quizzes, homework questions, and examen unlke some, so that's good. 

4. I'm done applying and sending transcripts to the colleges I'm trying to transfer to.
I applied to five (2 were free), but, I mostly just want to go to this one school...I'm starting to doubt it though, because my freshmen year of college was crap.

That was a lot of random rambling.
Therefore, I am done.

So recently something strange happened. I was craving music. I always 'want' to hear like a certain song, band, or artist, but this was different. I was in my car and I hadn't listened to some Tool for a few days. So I pull down the visor to get a CD, and ALL my Tool CDs that I put in my car were gone! In that moment I needed to listen to a Tool song. I dunno, it was weird. I later figured out my sister misplaced them in her CD case. When I got home, I immediately went and listened to some good ol' Tool tunes. I had the 'aahhh' feeling. Ha. I dunno, it was definitely weird. 
Is that like synesthesia? I don't think so, but similiar concept.

mmMMMmmm. Tool. 
Makes me fully satiated.

Not really...but for the winter and that doesn't start till Friday, heh.
And if I'm really unlucky, I'll have to go to speech class Monday morning. Our final is optional and on Weds, Monday is supposed to be the review day for the final. So why do we have to attend class on Monday if we're not taking the final? Beats the heck outta me. But I'll attend to get my 2% grade boost for good attendance. Blah. This is the first semester that I actually go to my classes regularly.

My biggest dilemma right now---for my internet class, I thought everything was due the last day of school which is the coming Weds; turns out everything is due Thursday..err, tomorrow by noon. Ya, I found out last night. So I took my last test and submitted my last assignment then. And I've been working on my final paper today ever since I got off work. This is when knowing how to BS is the best.
It sucks more when you have Vista and your computer is freezing and about to crash. The chances of losing my 75% completed paper are very high with this piece of crap.

And Rhapsody keeps freezing so I can't even listen to anything without it getting choppy.

I hate Vista with a passion, I'm getting a Mac as soon as I can.

Needy friends can get so annoying. If you don't talk to them for a day, they get mad. If you go out with some other friends without them, they get mad. I can't keep up with that.

I can't register for my Stats class because I don't have one of the prereqs. This is the last class I need to get my AA's. I have to find some way around it. Otherwise it will be really hard to apply anywhere out of state.

My brain hurts.

Got my phone, but without my number transferred on it! urgh#(@*)!#@$

My family is a pain, I was definitely screwed by being born the middle child. I can't wait to move out next fall. Which brings me to my newest problem, money. I have to find a seasonal job for winter break to save some $$$ because I know the rents are not going to end up helping me out with rent even though they say they will. They just want to shut me up for now :(
And getting a speeding ticket doesn't help my situation at all...75 hard earned dollars gone. Damn it.

I also need to join the psych club and start volunteering at the psych clinic before the end of November so I can add them to my applications. Wow, am I a procrastinator or what!?


I was talking to the fam about tomorrow and they asked me to do something, I told them I can't do anything because on Thursdays I wake up at 2 and then go to my 3 o'clock class. My dad got mad asking who on earth doesn't wake up before noon...hah.

Still can't go to sleep at night like a normal human.

So transferring colleges is a pain. Going to apply next semester and been talking to advisors and whatnot...they are no help at all. They won't give me any clear answers. They told me I have to ask the colleges I'm transferring to about specific classes and stuff. So today I spent 45 mins doing that. And also spent some more time picking classes for next semester.

Work today was pretty boring, I got off early though. But I asked about TG break, and my supervisor was saying she has to check if we get Friday off. wtf! Ya, we better get it off. If we don't I'm just going to say I can't come in and they'll probably give it to me anyway, so whatever.

I ordered my phone from Sprint about 2 weeks ago. My brother got the same one 2 days after ordering his. Everytime I call, they tell me they will escalate my order and it should arrive in 2-3 days. So today, I call, and I got pissed, the rep. said he'll give me 50 bucks credit and escalate the order to his supervisor. I'm probably not going get it anyways, my order is stuck in the system or something screwy like that. And I've wanted this phone a month before it even came out. I've been waiting forever.

Last CDs I bought: Both of Paramore's and Shiny Toy Guns. Very different than what I usually listen to, but I must admit they are pretty darn good. Or at least I'm liking them a lot ;)

I got a bonus at work...yay me. But I just spent 40 bucks in 3 days on movies, food, my sister, and crap. I told myself I would save my money, it's kind of working. Oh well...

It's 2:45. I can't sleep. I tried fixing my crazy nocturnal sleeping schedule (sleeping around 4/5 a.m.) since my 10 o'clock 8-week class started last week, but it's obviously not working. Ugh. But no classes on Tuesday! Probably going to use it to catch up on Psych...or play Guitar Hero :P
So I got into Guitar Hero earlier this year and then became obsessed. I pre-ordered GH3 and it should come in early November. Can't wait, the song list looks amazing. To celebrate, I've been playing GH1/2 during too much of my free time. And my family just can't stand it, always asking me to lower the damn volume. Well, playing GH is no fun if you can't blast it and rock out! Haha.

Should try and get some sleep. Class, work, studying, calls...busy day tomorrow.

I did something very wrong.
After work, my gas tank was nearly empty. Usually, I just choose the gas stations with the lowest pricing near my house on my way home. Usually, it's not the BP. But strangely enough, BP was the cheapest and I involuntarly turned into it. I started filling and then a voice in the back of my head started chanting "Don't go to BP Amoco, don't go BP Amoco". That voice was Eddie. Eddie Vedder.
I stopped pumping and left. I felt stupid-the water I get is from Lake Michigan. I also felt stupid because Ed Ved's voice was in my head singing.
-
My score on eBay is 50! Yay, it's not that much, but I'm proud of my business transactions. I love eBay. My score is actually suppose to be higher, but some annoying people do not leave feedback even after you leave positive feedback for them. Urrgggh.

A lot of stuff has happened in the past few days...very excited.
I ordered the new PJ DVD/shirt.
Got a QC shirt.
Got an electric!
Started reading 'Requiem Ror a Dream' (which was hard to find).
Started my classes; so far, I'm loving my schedule with all the independent study courses, less class time means more meeeeeeee time. Hah.
Going back to my old work schedule of three days a week instead of five.
I'm seriously thinking about getting an Apple. Seriously.
Speaking of apples, when I was buying a book at the school bookstore today, one of the employees looked a lot like Fiona Apple. It was really weird.

On a more negative note...I have to go all the way back to the stinky crowded bookstore and return my books because we don't really 'need' them for class. I guess that's good though-90 bucks back.

My favorite PJ song as of now. Getting addicted to last album all over again.

Inside Job

Underneath this smile lies everything
All my hopes, anger, pride and shame

Make myself a pact, not to shut doors on the past
Just for today... I am free

I will not lose my faith
It's an inside job today

I know this one thing well...

I used to try and kill love, it was the highest sin
Breathing insecurity out and in

Searching hope, I'm shown the way to run straight
Pursuing the greater way for all...human light.

How I choose to feel...is how I am.
How I choose to feel...is how I am.

I will not lose my faith
It's an inside job today

Holding on, the light of the night
On my knees to rise and fix my broken soul

Again.

Let me run into the rain
To be a human light again

Let me run into the rain
To shine a human light today

Life comes from within your heart and desire
Life comes from within my heart and desire
Life comes from within you heart and desire


The greatest thing about this song, it's all Mike's.

Haven't posted anything forever. Deleted all the old stuff...

I bought this!

Should've bought the first one first...haha, oh well, eventually I will since it does have Deep Purple, AS, QOTSA, RHCP, Incubus, and lots of others. The track list for the first one looks better.
Hmm, well, that's it. That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks when not in class or at work. I know, it's sad.

blaaaah